well not quite yet..
school officially ended on the 12th..
but we have gotten a one week extension cos they failed half the class..
so I have a submission this friday.

spent my sunday at the indoor stadium dressing the female cast of High School Musical.
not the actual people in the movie but a touring cast anyway.
nice girls. heh. and erm they don't actually wear anything underneath between costumes..
yes I have never been assaulted by so many pairs of boobs in my life. disturbing really!
but it was a wonderful experience working with the disney production team!

in other news!
lotsa festivities lined up and I am psyched!
especially the BBQs! can't wait to cook!

things to do and people to see..
most importantly.. time to be HAPPY!

today was submission which means FREEDOM!!

crit was tough on us. the lecturers made quite a few girls cry.
I passed. Thank God.
Many people failed and though I didn't do well,
I am contented because I did the best I could and I am glad it showed.
Lecturer was "impressed" with my effort though my techniques need alot of refining.
He said with more time and practice, he is confident I'd be good at this.
So I am going to gladly attend all his supplementary lessons.
I respect his willingness to impart knowledge though his personality is rather abrasive.

I want to be the best I can be!

so today I had a test which makes up 30% of my marks.
less than 3 hours to model either a bracelet watch, a car or a desktop computer.
I chose to do a car.. ambitious.. foolish.

everything went rather smoothly from 930- 11am..
then guess what?
the programme crashed on me at 11am and I had forgotten to save since 10am..
most of the crucial work was done after 10am..
so I was left with basic line work and one hour to salvage what I had done..
and not remembering where I saved at meant I had to re-figure the steps..
fluster. unable to get things to work. more time wasted.
shit work.

so yes I got a big fat F.

I was kinda upset. duh.

then I decided that at the end of the day I tried the best I could.
and there is no point crying over spilt milk.
so onward I go.

time to work hard on the remaining 70%.

GRINCH.

if you know what I mean

I like you, and I'd like you to like me to like you
But I don't need you, don't need you to need me to like you
Because if you didn't like me, I would still like you, you see
la lala... la lala...

I lick you, and I'd like you to like me to lick you
But I don't need you, don't need you to like me to lick you
If your pleasure turned into pain, I would still lick for my personal gain
la lala... la lala...

I fuck you, and I'd like you to like me to fuck you
But I don't fucking need you, don't need you to need me to fuck you
If you need me to need you to fuck, that fucks everything up
la lala... la lala...

I want you, and I want you to want me to want you
But I don't need you, don't need you to need me to need you

That's just me, so take me or leave me
But please don't need me, don't need me to need you to need me
Because we're here a minute, the next we're dead
So love me or leave me but try not to need me
Enough said.

I want you, but I don't need you...

I love you, and I love how you love how I love you
But I don't need you, don't need you to need me to love you
If your love changed into hate, would my love had been a mistake?
I don't know. I don't know.

So I'm gonna leave you, I'd like you to leave me to leave you
But love, believe me; it isn't because I don't need you
(You know I don't need you)
All I wanted was to be wanted
But you're drowning me deep in your need to be needed
la lala... la lala

I want you, and I want you to want me to want you
But I don't need you, don't need you to need me to lead you

That's just me, so take me or leave me
But please don't need me, don't need me to need you to need me
Because we're here a minute, the next we're dead
So love me or leave me but try not to need me
Enough said.

I want you, but I don't need you...

amanda palmer.
awesome inspiring musician, song writer, singer.
worked mostly as a street performer before she started making albums.
she started mostly after university at 23.
wesleyan.

why am I so concerned about what I am doing or not doing at this early age of 21?
I am but young. just a hatchling.
why am I trying to hard to fly?
I am going to be contented with hardening my wings.
one day I will soar so high that I'd make up for what society calls "lost time"..

I shall be happy with the way I am.. as a child. mere hatchling.

and one day, I'd grow into those grown up shoes I want to fill.

I can't get to bed
But I'm really tired
The things in my head
You used to admire
In your sundrenched world
It couldn't be worse
Don't bother asking
And here comes the nerves
While I'm trying to bask
In your sundrenched world

I'm talking to you
But you're not listening
I don't know what to do
My heart is blistering
Writing this song
Tell me I'm not wrong

I close up my mouth
When you're around now
Suffocating in doubt
I can't make a sound
In your sundrenched world
I always wanted to be
The one you looked to
For the answers in me
I'm the one who took you
To your sundrenched world

I'm talking to you
But you're not listening
I don't know what to do
My heart is blistering
Writing this song
Tell me I belong

It's all been said
Once before
We fucked around
On your bedroom floor

I'm talking to you
But you're not listening
I don't know what to do
My hands are blistering
Writing this song
Tell me I belong

Tell me I belong
Tell me I
Tell me I belong

Shoelaces untied
You can dry your eye
Perfect shadows lie behind us
And this is the day I make you mine

The way your hair lies
Sometimes unrecognized
All the way from Nice today, on a train
Nothing to say but there's still time

You are the one I've been waiting for today
And here comes the sun, its been baiting 'morn today

Lately I've lost my tongue
Today you found my song
Unknown our love, has grown
And I thank God you came along

You are the one one I've been waiting for today
And here comes the sun, it's been baiting 'morn today

You looked right through me, there was no one else
I sat beside you and became myself, today
Today

You are the one I've been waiting for today
And here comes the sun, its been baiting 'morn today

Quote of the Day

"This guy's walkin' down a street when he falls in a hole. The walls are so steep he can't get out. A doctor passes by and the guy shouts up, "Hey you! Can you help me out?" The doctor writes a prescription, throws it down in the hole, and moves on. Then a priest comes along and the guy shouts up, "Father, I'm down in this hole; can you help me out?" The priest writes out a prayer, throws it down in the hole and moves on. Then a friend walks by. "Hey, Joe, it's me. Can ya help me out?" And the friend jumps in the hole. Our guy says, "Are ya stupid? Now we're both down here." The friend says, "Yeah, but I've been down here before and I know the way out.?"
-Leo McGarry, from The West Wing (1999-2006)

This is why some of us go through what we go through.. so that we'd know the way out and show it to others.
Don't resent the fact you go through the tough times you go through.
God knows you are strong enough to handle it and He wants you to help lead/support those who aren't.
We can never effective help someone unless we can fully relate through experience.
How can you say, "I know how you feel" or "I understand what you are going through" unless you have indeed experience it yourself.

So if you're going through a rough patch now, take heart.. it is not the end.
Either you find the way out on your own or perhaps help is on the way.
Chill out and learn whatever you can from it.

Peace. (:

sign the peition people!! it's the last stretch!
deadline is 30th november..
we need to protect our women!!

she watches a darkness creeping up about half past eight
she sits by the weeping willow says that she can relate
she dreams of someday getting out of this place
she says she's never felt at home even in her own face

I know it won't be long
till you turn into a butterfly
I know you're weak and you're hanging on
go and give it another try

she dreams of puppies and those wings that look like parachutes
she dreams of waterfalls that sweep your feet from under you
she finds her comfort inside bedtime stories and fairy tales
anything with a happy ending she says it can never fail

I know it won't be long
till you turn into a butterfly
I know you're weak but you're hanging on
cause you're dreaming of an open sky

she don't wanna talk about it cause that's all that she's done
she don't wanna think about it she's not the only one
she doesn't wanna be what she doesn't have to be
doesn't have to be

she wants to be the girl whose swept off her feet in the end
she wants to live a life that's real and not just for pretend
she dreams of laughter echoing and says it's her favorite sound
she dreams of plastic parents that will never let her down

and I know it won't be long
till you turn into a butterfly
I know you're weak and you're hanging on
cause you're dreaming of an open sky
go and give it another try
and I know it won't be long
till you turn into a butterfly
I know you're weak but you're hanging on
cause you're dreaming of an open sky

[repost: http://www.breaktheillusion.com/?p=843]

June 26, 2008 |
What if we reminded ourselves of three things today?

1. People are doing the best they know how to do, given the circumstances in their life. The choices or actions of other people are the only choices or actions they could have made given where they are in life - whether or not you agree with those choices. If their choices invite turmoil into their life, remember that difficult situations allow people to develop and grow. All paths lead to truth, but alas, some are much longer than others.
2. It takes two to tango. Conflict can’t be brought into your life without your participation; if you respond with love, peace, compassion and understanding, your life will be free from conflict. Conflict grows when you nurture it with the fertilizers of violence, energy or hate, and withers when you respond with your heart.
3. It’s all small stuff. Remind yourself of the wisdom contained within my favorite quote ever… it’s from the Ojibway people: “Now and then I go about pitying myself and all the while my soul is being blown by great winds across the sky.” The so called problems, issues and difficult situations in our lives pale in comparison to the love and beauty of this tremendous universe. On which will you focus your energy today?

people sometimes ask me why I don't keep a physical diary or write letters more often.

there are two things that are most valuable to me.
words and a clean book.
In fact, I do not write unless it is worth writing.
and I refuse to immortalised my words in a book unless it is worth eternity.
and so far, besides my promises to her, I have found nothing else.

It was awesome! and I can't express enough thanks to those who came!

I'd let the photos do the talking.. (:

I have a feeling it is really time to move on to a new place..

I am done here.

you can't, not on my birthday!

had a very eventful birthday but it's all good in the hood! (:

My God is my strength and if He is for me, who can be against me?

More than a hundred well wishes, even from friends I hardly know across the globe!

I AM BLESSED.

[reposted from: http://www.breaktheillusion.com/?p=1886]

Shit Happens: One Man’s Crap is Another Man’s Fertilizer.

November 3, 2009 |

I was proud of my creativity when I answered a friend’s “shit happens” statement with the following rebuttal: One man’s shit is another man’s fertilizer.

We hear “shit happens” a lot. But does shit really happen? The statement implies that “bad” events unfold. I think that events do unfold, but that they are neither bad nor good until we judge them as such.

When things don’t go as planned, I don’t think that they are bad. I just know that my plan wasn’t in alignment with what I really needed to experience. And, of course, whatever you are experiencing is exactly what you need to experience. How do I know? Because that is what you are experiencing.

And even the so-called negative events in our lives (like car accidents, getting laid off, being robbed, etc.) can be tremendous learning experiences. The are always opportunities to lift up our level of consciousness, if we can open ourselves to it.

It’s a matter of perspective. Do you choose to see it as shit, or as fertilizer? And it is a choice.

If you believe that shit happens, then it will. My vote is on fertilizer

[repost from: http://anjelico.wordpress.com/2009/11/01/loving-right/]


I probably wouldn’t get together with someone who thought i am the best she could get… and that’s because she didn’t think she could get anything that great anyway.